This story is about one of my kind friends. Let’s call her Cecilia. She is a simple, hard-working, bad-ass mother of four handsome young boys. She calls her partner, Alex, her adopted son. Isn’t that true for all those in committed relationship with your partner, the man is often the big baby. I don’t mean it in a mean or condescending way but I agree with her a 100% and I know, you secretly do too.
During one of my first intimate interactions with Cecilia, we spoke about our lives and how different yet similar our cultures were. How we saw a relationship became our common ground. While talking about our experiences, our age difference or our cultural background or our language of communication in terms of pronunciation did not matter one bit. We were just two women coming together and getting to know one another. We shared tears and laughs, over few conversations. I often saw her running around, dropping the teens to their soccer game, picking the younger ones from school, running to work, coming back but still taking the time to stop and wave a warm greeting. I feel like warm pleasantries have a domino effect on people. Out of all the phenomenal things she does for her pack of boys, one of her beautiful personality traits is that she always has an open heart for others. When you get invited to her party, you’d never go home empty handed. Ask her for help, she is always there. Her son’s friends are often spotted staying over at their place, even though they live in a 1 BHK apartment. That means a couple, 4 boys, boys’ friend or friends- all living in the same space. She always has room for more people. She always has extra food for people. She got you, no matter what. It may seem like a no-big-deal sort of a situation but you know it’s not. We often revolve ourselves around our reasons and self-justifications in order to run away or not do the right thing. It takes balls to be so kind and welcoming, all the time. It takes tremendous courage and love to treat others like your own, in spite of having hardships revolve around you. It’s all about choices, good and bad. “Being kind and warm is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of immense strength to be kind to the world that is growing further from kind”, she said.
I have never seen her say no to anything. I thought, perhaps that was the secret to her awesomeness. But wait, not knowing how to say no never worked well for me and a bunch of my friends. We always talk about how I need to learn to say ‘no’. Saying ‘no’ correctly is so important and a difficult skill to master, or even achieve if you ask me. Having an experience of the disastrous effects of not being able to say ‘no’ I knew it had to be something else. I met Cecilia and we had a brief chat in which I was determined to know how she does what she does. She was telling me about how her other son asked her if even his friend can crash at their place for a few days. You won’t believe it, she was actually considering her options. I was amazed and I politely asked, ‘do you ever say no?.’ She said, “Of course I do. Ay ay ay, ask my sons, they will complain that I always say no and nothing but no!”
If you ask me, I don’t think she says no to being an incredible person, beautiful person – inside and out, an awesome mom, a fun partner, and a good friend. She is the woman who never says no to being good, no matter what. Isn’t it bad-ass and beautiful, at the same time?
Until next time,
Spread love and kindness,